I believe that my boys deserve to spend every possible minute with their parents right now. They are so wounded, so hurt, so confused, so lost. In my opinion, they need us more now than they ever have at any point in their lives.
I call to talk my boys nearly every day, even if it’s for a quick two minute phone call. Thursday this week I am going to repeat how I spent last week…going to school with the boys. They are excited, I am excited.
Their father, on the other hand, is less than thrilled. He had his lawyer send mine a letter regarding his ‘concerns’ that I am spending time with the boys when I do not have ‘parenting time’ scheduled. Who complains that a parent WANTS to spend time with the kids?
THIS is the person I am dealing with. He cannot see beyond his own issues to take care of the needs of our children. When he was living outside the home, I reminded the boys to call him daily. Never once did I complain about them wanting to spend time with their dad. Quite the opposite, I encouraged it. More than once I even made sure to send food with them when they had concerns that maybe dad wouldn’t have anything to make them for lunch. I could have told them it wasn’tm y problem, but it WAS my problem if it was a concern of theirs…so I did what I could to make sure it was ok…a box of mac and cheese, a can of ravioli, soup…if it gave them one less thing to worry about, I did it. I worked very hard to make sure that every interaction with their dad was possitive, that the transitions were seamless, that they had every right to be excited about spending time with him , and that it was ok to miss him when they came home.
THAT is my job…I have no hatred towards their father. My job, from the day they were concieved, is to co-parent with this person until my last breath. I cannot promise to do this for the rest of their lives, but I swear I WILL do it for the rest of mine…
I may end up back in court after spending the day in school with the boys. This is a risk I am willing to take. I will continue to spend every minute I can with my boys, every opportunity will be granted to them. If this is wrong in the eyes of the family court, then I will take my punishment as ordered.
Pray for my kids, for them to understand that we grow through suffering. Pray for peace in their hearts that God has a plan for them, and it is a good plan, it is the right plan.