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Follow Up

I am struggling to understand how the ex chooses to take care of our children’s needs. I do not wish to change him, only to figure things out on a level I can understand.

Instead of explaining to Boy 1 that I could not be there tonight, he had Boy 1 call me. The conversation went something like this :

TIME: 17:58

Me: Hello

B1: Hey Mom

Me: Hey Bubba, what’s up?

B1: Um, Mom, can you be at the school by 6:15. The concert doesn’t start until 6:30 but I want to show you my art stuff on display before.

Me: *shocked as I had THOUGHT dad would have explained HIS screw-up* Um, Bubba, I didn’t know about tonight’s concert and I’m in Fargo. I’m sorry kiddo, I can’t make it. I did ask your dad to record it for me though and he will post it on Facebook so I can see it there.

B1: So you aren’t coming?

Me: I’m sorry son.

B1: K, bye. *click*

I swear…I could HEAR his tiny, eight year old heart break over the phone, 140 miles away. He didn’t even ask if I wanted to talk to Boy 2 (he is anal about making sure he offers his brother contact when he calls me). Not good bye, not I love you…he just said, “K, bye” and hung up the phone.

I have to remember to focus on what I CAN do, not what I cannot do. What I CAN do is:

  1. Document the fact that dad failed to inform me of a school activity for the courts.
  2. Not vilify their father in their presence.
  3. Blog about my thoughts and feelings.
  4. Keep an open mind.
  5. Move forward and not get stuck on this.
  6. Understand that there may be many things I may miss out on in their lives, such is life after divorce.
  7. Fight like a MOTHERFUCKER in Sept (Divorce trial date) to get those kids where they belong.
  8. Focus on the fact that my kids KNOW I love them, that my bond with them is stronger than the storm they are facing.

Did I mention I KICKED ASS today with my talk? I mean REALLY…kicked ass. I was so awesome that it hurt…so good I have ICP (inter-cranial pressure) from my head swelling!! HAHA

Did I mention that I use humor a lot to get through the tough parts?

Thanks for your support.

D

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