I am struggling to understand how the ex chooses to take care of our children’s needs. I do not wish to change him, only to figure things out on a level I can understand.
Instead of explaining to Boy 1 that I could not be there tonight, he had Boy 1 call me. The conversation went something like this :
B1: Hey Mom
Me: Hey Bubba, what’s up?
B1: Um, Mom, can you be at the school by 6:15. The concert doesn’t start until 6:30 but I want to show you my art stuff on display before.
Me: *shocked as I had THOUGHT dad would have explained HIS screw-up* Um, Bubba, I didn’t know about tonight’s concert and I’m in Fargo. I’m sorry kiddo, I can’t make it. I did ask your dad to record it for me though and he will post it on Facebook so I can see it there.
B1: So you aren’t coming?
Me: I’m sorry son.
B1: K, bye. *click*
I swear…I could HEAR his tiny, eight year old heart break over the phone, 140 miles away. He didn’t even ask if I wanted to talk to Boy 2 (he is anal about making sure he offers his brother contact when he calls me). Not good bye, not I love you…he just said, “K, bye” and hung up the phone.
I have to remember to focus on what I CAN do, not what I cannot do. What I CAN do is:
- Document the fact that dad failed to inform me of a school activity for the courts.
- Not vilify their father in their presence.
- Blog about my thoughts and feelings.
- Keep an open mind.
- Move forward and not get stuck on this.
- Understand that there may be many things I may miss out on in their lives, such is life after divorce.
- Fight like a MOTHERFUCKER in Sept (Divorce trial date) to get those kids where they belong.
- Focus on the fact that my kids KNOW I love them, that my bond with them is stronger than the storm they are facing.
Did I mention I KICKED ASS today with my talk? I mean REALLY…kicked ass. I was so awesome that it hurt…so good I have ICP (inter-cranial pressure) from my head swelling!! HAHA
Did I mention that I use humor a lot to get through the tough parts?
Thanks for your support.