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Worried

I wanted to post yesterday but just the thought of writing about all that is going on is difficult. It makes it real.

As a person who has dealt with mental health issues for many years, I understand, probably better than anybody else, just how sick my daughter is right now. I am doing everything IN MY POWER to get her the help she needs.

As a mom, my heart crumbles at the thought of my child being so sick and not being able to fix it for her. I can imagine it is how the parents of child, terminally ill with cancer, feel. Just as some of the cancers afflicting children are treatable, so is my daughter’s illness. I also know that it has the power to kill her at any moment.

I explain it to her in a way that reduces the stigma in her own mind: right now her brain is sick; very sick. There is a tumor that is trying to kill her and we need to treat it in hopes that one day a cure can be found.

The challenge is keeping her safe long enough to get her the treatment she needs to get stable. Finding the right treatment is like throwing darts…blindfolded…in a windstorm.

Today I am making the 250 mile round trip again to host the relapse prevention/early recovery class. I usually only do this every 5-6 weeks but they called on Monday and said they had a cancellation. They were very happy to have me coming back and I am so happy to be going back to the same group of people…it would be nice if I could do this every week…then at least we could follow a semi-curriculum and progress through a series of talks. Last week we discussed forgiveness and letting go. I think this week I will touch on expectations…their own and the people around them while talking of motivation.

Pray for me to have the strength as I continue to follow the path God leads me on.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The Courage to change the things I can, and

The Wisdom to know the difference…

 

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