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Getting Close

Next weekend (June 2) is my daughter’s high school graduation. Last night was the Baccalaureate ceremony and year end awards. She received a couple of scholarships. In a class of 44 students I think they all ended up receiving at least one each.

The boys were so excited to see me. Both came running when I walked in to the gymnasium. I had one (and often both) of them on my knees for nearly the entire night. Between the Baccalaureate  ceremony and awards presentations they served cake and coffee and the boys made a spot for me to sit between them…it was nice.

Boy 1 really wanted to come home with me last night but it was already after 10 before the awards were done, it would have been after 11 before he got to sleep and he would have had to be up and out of my house by 6 if I was to drive him back to town for school and make it to work on time. I reassured him that I would pick him up early on Friday and that we get to spend three days together for the long weekend.

The Girl was happy to see me and I got many winks from the front of the room…and even one from her chair across the room when she did not get one of the scholarships she was really hoping for.

Unfortunately I am not at all involved in the planning of her graduation celebration. This was orchestrated by her and the ex. They have successfully ‘kicked me out’ of all of her graduation plans. I was surprised when I got the call from her on Monday that she wanted me at last nights’ ceremony.

One more week and it’s all over…she will have graduated, her party will be over, and life will go on. I pray that she can understand that the decisions she has made that I am respecting (as difficult as it is) are her doing. I am letting her make decisions about the time we spend together as well as holding her to earlier decisions. This has not been easy for me.

I love my kids more than anything in the world…I believe they know that. Today, that will have to be the blanket I wrap around my heart…that knowledge…my brain knows that they know how much I love them…today, my heart just misses them so much.

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