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My Monday

I know, I know…it’s Tuesday, for me though, I had a wonderful long weekend and today is my Monday at work. 

I picked up the boys on Friday after work and took them with me to the psychologists office. I didn’t have much to report for myself, but I did want her to touch base with the boys a little as they haven’t seen her since I moved out. It was a great opportunity for Boy 1 to discuss his wants for summer visitation and his ‘back-up plan’ if dad does not agree to his proposal. He hasn’t thought that far ahead, as he just doesn’t see why dad shouldn’t agree…well, now he sees that it is a possibility, and it wasn’t me who brought it up that dad may not go for it. I do everything I can to keep myself out of his issues with Dad…they are his issues and dad issues, they are not mine.

I know, I could tell him that yes, he’s right, his dad would be unreasonable to not agree to his proposal, and that he should be angry that his dad won’t give him a straight up answer and keeps blowing him off when he brings up summer visitation.

Side note for my Canadian friends…my kids are done school this week, we have three months of summer vacation, so he is ‘running out of time’ for making plans. Yes, we have all summer to deal with, but from the perspective of an 8 year old, he needs (and deserves) answers now.

I refuse to make his dad the bad guy. In my heart of hearts, I believe he is a bad guy, but that is for Boy 1 to figure out all on his own. Unfortunately he will see his dad for what he is, a calculating, manipulative uncaring, sick man…until then, he is all he has…

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The church that the boys and I, along with my best friend and her middle son, attend has a fun night every Sunday throughout the summer at a local park. This last Sunday was the first of the year. I was so glad to have the boys this weekend as usually they would be gone back to dad’s by then. 

I took the boys to this fun night. We had a blast. Watching Boy 1 play catch with a man who came without his wife and kids…he was teaching Boy one how to run and catch a football. It was heartwarming and sad at the same time. These boys ache for male affection. 

I’m not saying their dad doesn’t love them, I believe with my entire heart, that he does…in his own way. Unfortunately, that way does not reach the hearts of my boys. My boys crave to be taught, led, guided, enriched, challenged…he does not offer that. He offers baseball in the front yard and NASCAR on the couch. I am impressed that he is lately taken to watching hockey with Boy 2. This child LIVES for hockey…breathes, sleeps and eats hockey…has never owned a pair of skates. As a Canadian…this is blasphemy, I know! He’s five, he should have at the very least been on a team last year, if not the year before. He WILL own skates, and even take skating lessons this year at the very least. As I am not sure what the living arrangements will be, it may possible to get him on a hockey team…I’m not yet sure. 

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Talk about a rambling post…I need to take time to focus more when I post…and stop trying to post when I am at work. For those who read this blog, you deserve much more than I am currently putting forth. Your time is valuable and I need to at least make it worth your while to stop over here. 

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