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An Open Letter to the Judge

Your Honor,

I understand you are a busy man; I can not even begin to know the hours you put in to your job. I am asking only for a few minutes of your time. To be able to trust you to do what is in the best interests of the children I need to know you have heard me.

Mr. Ex has, for all intents and purposes, abandoned the boys on my door step for an undetermined amount of time. This is the same man who was asking you to grant him sole custody and to not grant me even supervised visitation because he had such great concerns regarding my mental instability and their safety in my care.

Since convincing you that he is, at least temporarily, the best parent for these kids they spend more hours between daycare and babysitters than with him. I understand this is his right to parent as he sees appropriate, I only point this out as I am concerned that he is not addressing their social/emotional needs at a time when they need the most love and guidance. He is also not addressing the medical needs of Boy1. When I was ordered out of the marital home I told him that Boy1 needed to be seen by an orthopedic specialist for a hip condition. He has not yet made that appointment. This needs to be addressed sooner rather than later for the best possible outcome for Boy1.

As far as I know, Mr. Ex has not yet completed the required Parent’s Forever class. It is my sincere hope, that once completed he will better understand the needs of the children and work towards meeting them.

As stated earlier, the boys have now been in my sole care since June 2 and Mr Ex continues to extend the length of his absence. They have adjusted well and are not showing any regression at this time. We have sent cards and such to dad while he is away.

We are attending church on a weekly basis and they are forming a bond with our Pastor and other members of the congregation. Boy1 attended Safety Camp put on by the City Parks and Recreation Department and both boys are signing up today for the summer reading program at the local library.

With the short notice I was afforded, the children are spending their days with my girlfriend who used to be a licensed child care provider. She has three children of her own and her family is like family to us. Her father-in-law even took one of her boys and Boy1 fishing this week…both my boys refer to him as Grandpa. Daycare spots are a premium in this town.

In addition to the above concerns, I would like to make you aware that due to the fact that the boys do not technically live with me, I am not eligible for any county/state/federal assistance. I am fulltime employed, but making 20% above minimum wage and having to start from scratch in a new home has not been easy.

I respectfully request that you reconsider your earlier decision granting Mr. Ex temporary custody. These children need and deserve the stability of a schedule and their needs being met by a parent as opposed to various caregivers. I am only asking you to revisit the custody issue at this time. Mr. Ex. can continue to live in the marital home until that issue is addressed at trial in September.

I also request that you order a child custody evaluation as well as parenting capacity studies for both parties. It is my opinion that this is the only way to ensure the needs of the children are met effectively.

Thank you Your Honor.


B1 and B2’s Mom


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