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It is Time

Time to reflect back on my time with the boys. It has been a magical time for all of us. Even under the financial strain, we have managed to make many fun memories. We also made it with out breaking the budget.

I first and foremost need to thank my girlfriend, her husband, and their children. They have been providing child care…but much more than that…they are providing love, stability, and nurturing to B1 and B2. They have gone above and beyond for me and my kids. Without them we would have starved (although to hear B2 tell it, she doesn’t feed him anyway!! LOL) I am trying to come up with a way to repay what has been more than generosity…besides Rum for the dad…he’s easy!!

Their father has again extended the length of his absence. He is now looking at sometime in the middle of next week for returning…my brain hurts trying to wrap my head around his reasoning. I know that this leads me nowhere and I’m best to just move beyond it; the issue is that not only do my boys life hang in the balance, my life does as well. I cannot move beyond what I do not know and, as such, I can only live in today…and getting through another day…another week…another schedule change.

Last night we went to the library for a little while and it was story hour (I didn’t know, just good timing on our part). They were reading a book and then they were going to make Father’s Day cards. Here’s how the conversations went (both boys were at different areas of the library when I talked to each of them.

Me: Awesome, your dad will love that!! We can even mail them and he can get them at his hotel!!

B1: When is Father’s Day

Me: This Sunday

B1: So he’s not even going to be here?

Me: It doesn’t look like it but you can still send him cards.

B1: Nah, I don’t want to.

Me: Ok, well, if you change your mind just let me know.


Me: Hey Bum, they are gonna read a story and then make cards for Father’s Day.

B2: No thanks.

Me: Are you sure? The book is called “My Dad is Great” and Father’s Day is on Sunday so if you make the card tonight we can mail them tomorrow so he gets it on time.

B2: No thanks, I’m not interested.

I’m sure many divorced/divorcing parents at this point would shout out a huge BOO-YAH as a claimed victory…not me. My heart sank. My boys are emotionally pulling away from their father. It’s only been two weeks.

The hardest part is going to be when they go home…they are going to have to readjust to his way of raising them (which is not child focused) and learn to be second class citizens again. I believe that there will be some serious regression at that time for both of them, but B1 especially. I’m not sure about B2. He’s young enough that bouncing back and forth is almost ‘fun’ for him. He gets the best of both worlds…and it’s all about him.

A few of the things that have happened over the last two weeks with my boys:

  1. We ‘tattooed’ each other (literally head to toe) with washable markers one evening (I still have some on my arm…thankfully the big letters on my forehead washed off).
  2. We ‘experienced’ Jiffy Pop.
  3. Fishing with their ‘Grandpa G’ (my girlfriend’s husband’s dad) and saw mom TOUCH a fish!!
  4. Library (and signed up for the summer reading program) .
  5. Mini golf (I won…I can say that here because they don’t read this and can’t tell you how bad I sucked).
  6. Church.
  7. Community fun night (twice).
  8. Boys learned how to wash dishes by hand (which means we then had enough water on the kitchen floor to wash it…twice).
  9. We purchased and assembled our dining room table and chairs.
  10. A couple of trips to Dairy Queen.
  11. We bought AND USED our new vacuum…it works quite well.
  12. My fridge has been colored to the EXTREME (at least 4 times) with the same washable marker mentioned in #1.

We truly have made the most of our situation. We are so blessed to be in tune with each other…we are a team…but I am still the coach who gets the final say.

Thank you to everybody who has checked in with us and who has helped or offered to help in various ways. Your kindness has meant the word to all of us.


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