I know this is the third post about being at the lake…but I just can’t help myself. Well I could, but why?
So, sitting on the dock is nice…jumping into the lake would be nice too, but this will do for now. Having company on the dock is amazing. It’s been a long time since I had somebody to lean against sitting out here.
I can lean on him, we tell stories, we laugh…he lets me cry. I never feel like I have to hide my tears from him. Sometimes we just sit in silence…just knowing we are there for each other. He is well aware I am still gun-shy and respects that. He also knows that I have so much going on right now with the divorce and custody; he supports me as much as he can for being as far away as he is.
He tells me, “I wish I could help you” when he listens to my fears about my current financial situation. Of course I tell him I probably wouldn’t let him anyway, so he asks what I will let him do. I tell him he is free to support me, be my friend, get to know me and slowly the kids, and he is always free send me for a pedicure. Of course with his current work situation him sending me for a pedicure is not even remotely possible…so it’s funny to me. I have a feeling he’ll take care of that when we are together.
He thinks I’m pretty…and tells me all the time. I still blush. He thinks I’m smart (yep, got him fooled). Although his interactions with the kids have been minimal he tells me they are obviously good kids and that I am a wonderful mother…brings a tear to my eye even to type that.
I need to come up with a blog name for him…I hate that he doesn’t have an identity on here. I can almost bet though that as he reads this he is rolling his eyes and has a half-assed smirk on his face…a shit-eating grin. He is beyond tired, hot from another 12-20 hour work day, hungry…and taking time to read this. Thank you…from every inch of my being…just thanks.