The boys came home last night. Bum come stomping in, “I don’t want to be here again.” I gave him a big hug and told him I understood and that it would be okay. He just wants his dad right now, what little boy doesn’t? The man was gone for 26 days and two weeks later is flying out to Colorado for some get rich quick pyramid scheme he is part of (and he’s not getting rich from it, but he sure spends a ton of money).
After bedtime, Bubba was having trouble falling asleep. we cuddled, we talked, we watched TV together for a little bit. When I could see his brain was working overtime I asked him if something was bothering him.
Me: You okay?
Me: Something bugging you?
Me: What’s up?
Bubba: Why do we have to come here and it’s Dad’s weekend?
Me: Well, your dad is going out of town.
Bubba: But he just got back Mom. and it’s supposed to be our weekend.
Me: I know sweetie. You know he’s coming home on Sunday, right?
Bubba: Well, he’s supposed to.
Me: Any ideas what we should do this weekend?
Bubba: Bum said you were taking us to Rydell again.
Me: Ya, that will be on Sunday after church. But after work on Saturday maybe we can do some stuff too.
Bubba: I’ll think about it. How much money do you have?
Me: Some, it’s payday tomorrow. We can look at the budget tomorrow night and see what we have to work with.
Bubba: Ok, sounds good.
I great big hooray for Bubba verbalizing his needs. And even bigger cheer that he’s doing it in a way that is constructive. He knows he can let me know his thoughts and I’m not going to attack his dad. I support the fact that he loves his dad, I encourage him to love his dad. He knows this and he trusts me to make it about HIS needs, not mine. I asked him if he told his dad how he felt, but only to gauge where he is regarding standing up for himself at home.
I am at peace about these boys being free enough to be able to express their needs and wants. As long as they have that they are unstoppable.