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…Shattered…

…and just like that my heart hurts…

This one isn’t about my boys though. I think I hurt Sparky’s feelings. I dunno for sure though because after a long shift at work he was going to bed.

I got a letter from my lawyer today with a settlement ‘offer’ from EH. He’s ‘offering’ him to have custody with me having every other weekend and him to have custody during the school year and me to have them all summer with him having them every other weekend at that point. He sees this as a ‘concession’ because he was granted temporary custody without a set visitation schedule.

After reading it…and without even having time to think about it, I told Sparky that if he gets full custody of the boys I saw that as the end to our future. His response was “I didn’t think the drive was that big of a deal but apparently it is.” ugh

I just said that I cannot live that far away from my boys and there is no way every other weekend seeing each other is enough…”well, I guess you already decided then, I’m going to bed, good night.”

click

fuck.me.

I think I hurt his feelings, and now I feel like shit.

Sorry Sparky…I am just so damned scared of losing my boys. I just can’t even fathom life without them. I know you understand that. I also know you do everything in your power to reassure me that everything is going to work out okay. I’m not half as confident as you when it comes to this, I’m the only shot these boys have…and I’m scared.

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