Court was cancelled today…another stepping stone. I decided to let work know I would come in because sitting at home wasn’t going to be doing myself any favors. Well, the boss already had gave my shift to another co-worker who needed the hours so that was no longer an option.
I have a thousand things I could do today, a few things I maybe should do, and at least one thing that I MUST do. The one thing I need to do, without regard to anything else, is take care of myself. I did this by taking time to cry in frustration this morning. The emotional turmoil I am living in with this situation is exhausting. I had my hopes up for today being the beginning of the end…the final hearing, the trial phase of the divorce. Finally, the ability to move forward. I understand the wheels of justice move slowly…but two years for a divorce?? C’mon already. I want my life back.
I spoke with Boyfriend for a while this morning. He knows exactly how to bring me comfort at times like that. He continued to ‘talk me off the ledge’ this morning in terms of court.
He even takes me into a fantasy world of the future. I never dreamed that taking a few minutes to think about the future (even as uncertain as it may be) to even make pretend plans, brings a smile. He lets me live in that the future to envision what it might look like, and that comforts me. I’m planning a vacation for us…gonna be a gooder.