There are so few things that throw me for a loop. Almost always I can find the silver lining on every dark cloud. Rarely does the negative or the challenging knock me on my butt. Today I feel like I am knocked down flat. I am starting to question so many things. With so many changes happening at once it is easy to get caught up in the uncertainty of it all; I just took my boys back to their other house, this is by far the hardest thing I do…and I do it every other week.
As of Thursday I will be unemployed, I have one definite job offer, one preliminary offer, and an interview on Monday…I should not be panicking, I’ll be fine. I planned everything down to the last detail, I know exactly how long I can be off work and not worry. I also know that I can take the definite offer at any time.
I know that The Boyfriend is safer where he is than he would be at home, but he’s still gone…it would be so much easier to think of him just sitting on a beach in Mexico…lol…damn Mexico…I can’t wait for Mexico.
So today, I’m sitting here, feeling sorry for myself. It will pass, it always does. I’m gonna make myself some shells and cheese for a late lunch/early supper, put the rest of the laundry away that the boys helped me wash this weekend, I will finish filling out the interview questionnaire for tomorrow’s interview, and I will go to bed early in preparation for a very busy week. At least one interview, a full work week, bowling, my final day at my job, and some more job hunting. I want to make sure I don’t pass up any opportunities that may be available right now.
I can’t decide if I want to sleep in the living room or the bedroom tonight…both have their pros and cons…it’s not like I’ll be sleeping anyway. When I am in ‘this’ mood sleep is usually fleeting at best. I’ll do the work that needs to be done to get through this; I always do. Some days are just harder than others.
Damn I miss my boys…