Using my iPod to make this post so forgive the shortness.
The boys and I are finishing up our first week of the new parenting time schedule and I am beyond pleased with it.
The biggest challenge we face is reducing/setting limits on time they are allowed to spend in front of the TV and playing video games. At dad’s house they are allowed to wake up at whatever time and play video games until they have to get ready for school. This means the nine year old got up at 5:30am the first school day and then was super upset when I said no video games in the mornings before school. Not a great way to start the first morning, but he came out of it fairly quick. Day two he woke at 6:00am and we had the same discussion. Day three, he slept until the alarm clock went off.
I did not have even one homework meltdown all week. I’m used to getting no less than three calls per week from B1 in the middle of a meltdown during homework time.
He needs to know what my expectations are of him. It’s a huge adjustment on my part as well to remain super vigilant and not be overbearing. I cherish the opportunity and take it very seriously. It’s not hard, just time consuming.
We made a list of all the commitments we had for the week plus daily lists. It kept us on track and minimized any ‘oh crap we should be…’ moments.
I am trying to get B1 involved in activities in this town but he struggles as he doesn’t want to be involved only to miss every other week because he is at Dad’s house. I told him that it is not unreasonable to expect dad to transport him to town one evening every other week for Boy Scouts or another activity. I did not bring up that I drive nearly 400 miles on my week to transport them for school, it’s not a contest…
On Saturday night I asked B2 if he was excited to go back to dad’s house on Monday and told him I would pick him up the following Monday. He asked if he could just go to dad’s on Monday and Tuesday then come back here on Wednesday.
One thing I noticed was that the boys now seem to wonder where to call home. I refer to here as our place and dad’s as ‘their house in x town’. I want them to have a sense of home, not just mom’s house or dad’s house, but their home. No child should feel like they don’t have a base.