I have a job interview on Monday, Dec 9 at 1330h. It is with a distribution company and it is a ‘pick your own hours’ schedule with a minimum commitment of 24 hours/month. The pay is $10/hr (nearly $4 less per hour than their full time hires, but the current custody schedule makes it impossible for me to work that schedule. I filed the application on Friday, they called Monday to set up the interview and I was disappointed that I have to wait a week to get an interview. I then asked if the interview goes well and I am offered a job, when would I be able to start training and my heart sank…likely early January.
This is so difficult for me being in this position. I have had to now fill out more forms with social services to request even more assistance than I am already getting. I feel as though my dignity has been destroyed. I know it’s there to help, but I put myself in this position, I almost feel as though I don’t deserve it.
I’ve noticed a marked increase in my depression symptoms lately and began today keeping a journal of it. It could be mostly situational but I need to keep the data in case it’s something else. Holiday times are often difficult for many people. I am not immune to holiday stress.Considering my situation, I think I’m actually doing quite well. I am just tired of feeling like a charity case…
Although I have no problem living this frugal life it is a little panic inducing having no backup funds. I quit the bowling league, which was really the only money I spent exclusively on myself, but I just can’t afford it right now.
I know it won’t take me long to get back on my feet, of that I have no doubt. I just gotta hold on a bit longer and get through this next month…
Not sure what we are having for supper tonight, Boy1 wanted bacon last night but I went with Pizza Rolls because I was lazy and we had church at 6:30…and because I was lazy. Mostly, I was just lazy. Maybe bacon and scrambled eggs and then brownie in a mug for dessert. Boy 2 and I are IN LOVE with this new snack. All the ingredients for a single serve brownie get mixed in a coffee mug, cooks in the microwave for almost 2 minutes and then we cover it with caramel sauce and whipped cream…YUMMY.
Although we don’t have any activities planned for tonight I am trying to convince Boy1 to go to Boy Scouts with the Lunch Lady and Milk Man’s middle son. I am trying to get him involved in activities here that: 1. I can afford, and 2. introduces him to children and families here in town. They both want to try martial arts, but that is definitely not in the budget right now. Boy 2 also wants to do skating/hockey but unless they have a welfare league that is also out of the question!! LOL
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Lord, I ask for the continued strength, grace and mercy you have shown me these last months. I could not do this without your comforting promises. Be with B1 and B2 as we get through this first Christmas without their family in tact. They are starting to show some anxiety about it. Help B1 to learn how to lean on you for comfort and security when he can find it nowhere else. Keep B2 strong and vocal about his needs, they are being met more and more. Amen.