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Not very Interesting

The mediator did not award me a make up week but did allow me to have the boys for a weekend during the three weeks with their dad.

I had prayed long and hard about accepting the decision before it was made. I knew that I had no interest in changing it so my options were to complain about something I couldn’t change (by choice…I could always take it to court, I just had no interest in that).

One of the first thoughts I had though was that he now would have to pay for three consecutive weeks of daycare; and he is always complaining how broke he is. Be careful what you ask for I say.

On Tuesday of week three (his regularly scheduled week) I received a phone call from him asking if I was just taking the boys home with me after the baseball tournament on Thursday. I was taking the morning off from work but had plans to return to work after lunch. I said that I had not planned on it and would rather just follow the court order he insisted on getting (every decision the mediator has to make is a legally binding decision which is then filed with the courts).

Superdad couldn’t even be at the tournament…took part of Tuesday off to help his mother be moved back in to a nursing home as she is pretty much starving herself to death at home. She is medically cleared of all cancer…even the doctors have told her it’s all psychological at this point.

Wednesday he had to take the day off work because his daycare was closed and there is no available back up. So, come Thursday, he was unable to take time off for the third day that week to watch his son’s very first baseball tournament.

Tournament comes and goes…B1 had a great time, B2 spent 90% of the day firmly planted on my lap with his arms tight around my neck…as much as I love this, it breaks my heart to know he is missing out on social time and playing time because he misses his mama so much.

Thursday night I get a call asking if I would be interested in starting my parenting time on Saturday instead of Sunday…are you kidding me?? You complain and make a big stink about how the boys need consistency, blah, blah, blah, and how you shouldn’t be punished by losing time with them when going through the mediator…yet you can’t fulfill what you even demanded? C’mon buddy…life’s not that hard to figure out.

I told him only that I would meet him at the designated spot at 6:00pm on Sunday. As much as I love to spend time with the boys, I can no longer allow this man to manipulate my time.

Today he stopped as B1 forgot his bike helmet in my vehicle last night. He asked if I was interested in taking an extra weekend between now and when school starts…really? I’d take them EVERY DAY if you’d let me…you obviously don’t want them.

Only 11.5 years and B2 will be 18, in less than that the boys will see things for what they are. B2 is more open about his dad’s manipulation and isn’t afraid to call his dad out on his lack of parenting. B1 only wants his dad to love and accept him for who he is. He wants dad to spend time with him, to hug him, to join him in a game on the Xbox…he so desperately loves his dad.




4 thoughts on “Not very Interesting

  1. Wow, Debbie, for a minute I thought a close friend of mine was writing your blog. She has a pair of daughters, also close in age, and has shared so many instances such as yours. Hubby and I experienced some similar situations with my three stepsons.

    You’re right. Kids pick up way on the realities of their parents’ situation long before age 18. Hang in there. Sounds like you’re laying an awesome foundation for a lifetime of mutual love and support between you and your boys.


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