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Today it Becomes Real

Today, after work and school, the boys and I are going to the hair salon. B2 is getting a haircut he so desperately needs, B1 needs one but isn’t getting one. I am getting my head shaved.

Today it becomes real and tangible and visible that Mom has cancer…and B1 is afraid. It’s one step closer to the end of the journey for me, to him it is reality slapping him in the face…HARD.

We went for some Mom and Me time last night…we both got pedicures and had an absolute blast just being silly and caring and serious, and just being US.

I am trying to make the best of a shitty situation…for all of us. I am also trying to make it less scary for them. I also have to make sure I respect each of their fears, their thought processes, their ages, their concerns…it’s not easy.

B2 is super excited about helping to shave my head. B1 is hating that it even has to be done…I have to be the mom to both kids…and sometimes in the exact same minute…enjoying it with one, and mourning with the other.

So…today it becomes real.

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