I officially applied for the job. I made a resume, I wrote a cover letter, AND I submitted them to the hiring team. I felt an overwhelming sense of calm after hitting the send button (they had requested the materials be delivered via email). It might have been because it took me over an hour to attach the documents to the email and now I could finally relax, or it might have been the fact that for once I am giving myself a fighting chance.
So many people have an incredible fear of failure; not me. I fear success. I fear it so strongly that I often sabotage any chance of it. The only passions I have pursued without regard to outcome are parenting and my public speaking.
We all know how the parenting thing is working so far. I have awesome kids. I know every parent says that. I also know that there have been times that I’d rather have them locked in a closet, but for the most part they are pretty awesome. I’m definitely not one of those parents who thinks their kids are perfect…but darn they sure are close!
With the public speaking, that one came to me. I can’t even say I pursued it, I’ve only embraced the opportunity to tell my story and to help others. I get to speak again next week as it is Recovery Month and the hospital is holding a gathering and I have been asked for the second year in a row to be one of the event speakers.
I haven’t decided which talk I’m going to give next week I have several and they are all similar. It usually depends on the group size and if I see there are several whom have been through treatment before. This will be a packed house that I speak to next Thursday (around 100 people plus all the staff). Motivation, change, triggers, relapse prevention, or just early recovery…I think for Recovery Month the subject of change is probably the most appropriate and will speak to the most people.